“ … you – y’know that me kissin’ it objectively don’t … fix … nothin’. … right? ”
not that there’s all that much to be fixed – the heels of murdoc’s hands are raw, and sore, from catching himself on the sidewalk after a misstep off the bus. so what? it’s a baby scrape. a booboo, like he’d tell lily, all that time ago. just a booboo, lil. it’ll heal up in a day and – and you’ll forget all about it.
he’d never kissed lily’s booboos, and he regrets that now. kissing your loved ones’ scrapes just – wasn’t a thing, back then. ( or maybe he just hadn’t heard of it; either way, he feels like he’s deprived her.)
hurts to think about. when he stops thinking about it, he’s still holding murdoc’s hand, and – for good measure – grendel pecks his palm one last time before letting him go.
don’t follow me if you ship Grendel in heterosexual pairings. I have explicit, canon proof of his homosexuality as expressed in Beowulf and Grendel (John Gardner). I will not argue with you on this; this is not up for debate. just don’t follow me if you’re gonna erase his sexuality.
don’t send in chainmail, even if it’s positive. please.
DUPLICATES
i don't have anything against duplicates personally, but i need to make my boundaries clear: I DO NOT WANT DUPLICATES FOLLOWING ME IF THEY ARE GOING TO ERASE GRENDEL'S CANONICAL SEXUALITY / RACE / MENTAL AND PHYSICAL ILLNESSES OR DISABILITIES. grendel is gay, and nonwhite, and quite clearly not physically able or psychologically sound. if you are going to play him as ANYTHING BUT, i don't want you following me. i want you to block me on the spot. i won't stand for erasure; never have, never will. research the characters you claim to love, understand them fully, embrace their statuses as minorities, and THEN get back to me. as long as you don't erase vital aspects of his identity, then sure, we can be friends!
TRIGGERS
you can ask me to tag anything, but if it’s too obscure, I may forget.
personally, i blacklist ‘rape’ / 'incest’ / 'pedophilia’, 'IRL gore’, and 'grolly’ (it’s disgusting. i don’t want to fucking see it. ever. thanks.)
SHIPPING
When it comes to ships, Gren’s exclusive with Murdoc. ( Grendel’s not an incredibly sex- or love-oriented guy, anyway, so - don’t be too upset about it. ) I’m not wavering on this rule. Grendoc is my only serious, set-in-stone romance on this blog, and I don’t intend on changing that. Please respect this. Don’t attempt to push me or coerce me into shipping with you. If you try to take it there, IC or OOC, I’m not gonna be fucking happy about that.
I will tag all sexually explicit content as ‘nsfw,’ but I won’t put it under a read-more break.
FORMATTING
I use slightly edited 80 x 80 icons. I can’t see that tiny greyscale shit. sorry.
I cut my posts. it’s alright if you can’t do it; i’ll gladly do it for you.
I really don’t care about whether or not you have a 'fancy’ theme / formatting / etc. at all. this whole visual elitism thing pisses me off.
MUN
I’m a male (he/him); my name is Ruben. I’m gay / mixed, autistic, trans, and intersex.
I’m a little bit reserved and awkward and I’m not very good at interacting ooc with certain people.if you consistently make me feel like you’re gonna message me and demand my attention every time you see me get online, i’m blocking you. that shit freaks me out, makes me feel trapped, etc.
I am equally uncomfortable with being messaged about peoples’ problems, whether they’re online drama or IRL issues. if you need to talk to somebody, then please at least drop me a warning or ask if I’m able to handle it. it’s not that I don’t care about you, it’s that I am NOT usually in a mental state to be able to process your issues and offer advice or comfort for them. I encourage you STRONGLY to find somebody who IS able to talk to you, but my life is hellish. I am not your guy. I’m gonna get exhausted, I’ll probably ignore you, and all it’s gonna do is make both of us feel worse. I am not your therapist. please don’t treat me like one.
because of ASD, I have some serious [mis]communication issues & have a really hard time saying no to people (i don’t like it when people ask to roleplay; I will feel pressured into agreeing to something I do not really want. if you wanna write with me, i'd appreciate if you'd just drop me an ask, meme, plot idea, starter, etc.; but don't put me on the spot one-on-one).
if I am consistently ignoring you and/or block you out of nowhere, it’s probably on me, not on you.
I’m 18+
my personal is dadical
full name : Grendel. (the ‘-del’ is optional.) other names : The Destroyer, Shadow-Strider, He Who Walks at the Edges of the Earth, Heorot’s Beast, Lord’s Bane, Son of Cain, and – most famously – Asshole. title : drifter. age : appears mid/late 30′s; actually 1640+ years old, as of modern day. gender : agender, commonly perceived / presenting as male. sexuality : gay. origin : some swamp in Ye Olde Denmark. current location : Fabletown, NY (The Bronx). nationality : danish. ethnicity : african / west asian / caucasian. spoken languages : old, middle, and modern english / old norse / language of beasts. religion : knows gods exist; has met said gods; doesn’t really care. height : 5′5 (human, barefoot) / 8′2 (monster, not hunching). body type : ectomorph (human); ape-like, herculean muscle-gut (monster). eyes : green (left), white (right). tattoos : a cascade of holly leaves & lily flowers wrapping his neck and trailing down his chest/shoulders/spine (modern day). piercings : two rings on his left ear, a stud on his right, a bar in both brows, & a stud on his tongue. scars : the big one where his right arm should be / a dark gash across the right side of his face / various scars and burns littering the rest of his body. educational background : none. social media : probably had a vine account where he posted howtobasic rip-offs. smoking : occasionally. drinking : too much. drugs : he’s tried just about everything once. athletics : powerful upper body; tends to get under-handed jobs that require a lot of physical labor, but has no official workout schedule. hobbies : painting / doodling, making music, writing poetry, throwing darts. total ‘starving artist’ type. virgin : yeah. favorite drink : cherry brandy. favorite food : seafood’s a safe bet. favorite music : really angry rock/metal, grunge, bass-heavy boner jams, 80s jams, funk, soul, and hyper-pumped techno/synth. clothing style : casual, but put-together – in a sleazy sort of way.
GRENDEL.
ONCE THE RENOWNED TORMENTOR OF HEOROT, HE HAS SINCE TAKEN UP RESIDENCE IN MODERN-DAY NEW YORK CITY (A DUMPY LITTLE SHITHOLE; ‘FABLETOWN’, THE BRONX) AFTER THE LOSS OF HIS MOTHER AND THE DESTRUCTION OF HIS HOME. HE’LL TELL YOU A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT THE PARTS OF HIS LIFE THAT AREN’T HIS, ANYMORE; HOW THE POEM'S BULLSHIT. THAT IT WAS ACCIDENT.THAT BEOWULF NEVER WON.
( HE WON’T TELL YOU ABOUT HIS 800 YEARS IN ISOLATION, HIS HEARTBROKEN DRIFTING ALONG THE COAST. HE WON’T TELL YOU ABOUT THE LONESOME 36 NIGHTS HE SPENT HIDING BENEATH A SPICE RACK IN A CARGO SHIP CROSSING THE ATLANTIC, THEN - OR HOW DISAPPOINTED HE WAS TO BE GREETED WITH THE SAME TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS IN AMERICA AS HE WOULD’VE BEEN BACK IN HART. )
PRIOR TO MEETING HIS BOYFRIEND, GRENDEL’S ATTEMPTS TO PIECE HIMSELF BACK TOGETHER ARE SPARSE. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, HE CRASHES AND BURNS, ENDING UP JUST AS HOPELESS AND JADED AS HE’D BEEN BEFORE. PTSD, NEGLECT, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, AND SOCIO-POLITICAL OPPRESSION HAUNT HIM JUST AS PERSISTENTLY AS HIS OWN TROUBLED PAST. GRENDEL WALKS WITH THE WEIGHT OF REGRET ON HIS SHOULDERS, AND REGRET IS A HEAVY BURDEN FOR A ONE-ARMED BEAST TO BEAR.
STILL, SOMEHOW - BY SOME IMMENSE FORCE OF WILL; SOME GREAT STUPIDITY; SOME RESOLUTE, STUBBORN REFUSAL TO QUIT - GRENDEL TRIES TO FIND MEANING AND BEAUTY IN LIFE. HIS FIERCE LOYALTY TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY PROVIDE HIM WITH A PROVISIONAL, BUT NECESSARY, SENSE OF PURPOSE. HE DEFINES HIMSELF BASED ON HIS WORTH TO OTHERS. IT IS ALL HE’S EVER KNOWN TO DO.
YOU SEE - GRENDEL HAS A REPUTATION BASED ON LIES, AND THAT REPUTATION PRECEDES HIM.
DEMONIZED AND MISUNDERSTOOD, HIS DAYS OF TORMENTING MEADHALLS ARE OVER - NOW A FREQUENT ATTENDEE OF THE LOCAL WATERING HOLE, GRENDEL FINDS HIMSELF UNEMPLOYED, DISABLED, & COMPLETELY ALCOHOL-DEPENDENT.
EVEN WITH A ‘GLAMOUR’ - AN INVENTION OF MAGICK CREATED TO MASK THE APPEARANCE OF INHUMAN CREATURES - GRENDEL IS SCARRED AND WICKED, SMALL AND EMACIATED, BROODING AND BEATEN. SOMETHING ABOUT HIM IS … OFF.
CONSTANT INTOXICATION IS THE ONLY THING THAT DULLS THE ROAR OF THE CITY, KEEPING HIM DOCILE.
hisband said: “Better. That’s better.”