ok guys, i found a good rabbit clone today! it’s called frogwatch
you’ll need to login with your discord. but after that it has a working vm! so you can go and watch movies or shows like you used to with rabbit. but just to note that only 10 people at a time can join. If you need to paste a specific link, on your control panel there should be an option to paste the link there.
when it comes to self-care, what does your muse do to take care of themselves? do they take care to spend time on it, or do they feel they don’t deserve it?
most of what could be interpreted as ‘ self care ’ for gren is just a contribution to his apparent vanity and, deeper than that, an effort made to alleviate insecurities regarding his appearance. his indulgence in manicures, hair coloring / styling, skin care, tooth whitening, decent dress, and occasional makeup is … less a practice in making himself feel good and moreso about making himself feel better. it all ties down to grendel trying to work around his negative self image. otherwise … no. he usually doesn’t feel like he deserves nice shit at all. not until he meets muds, anyway.
when your muse loves someone (whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial love), how do they show it?
i think the fairest generalization is that grendel grows very protective of the people he loves, whether they like it or need it or not – defensive to the point of getting overbearing. shit like physical affection, gift giving, food sharing, deep talks, and all those other little signs of care … they depend on the person, so they aren’t consistent, and therefore aren’t measurable. protectiveness, though, extends to everybody grendel loves. it’s half an exhibition of his loyalty and half a total lack of concern for himself.
how much does it take for your muse to hate someone?
surprisingly to some people, it takes a whole fucking lot for grendel to actually HATE another living thing. the only people he’s truly, canonically ever hated are georgie, jersey, crane, the crooked man, the tweedles, and woody ( for hurting and abusing the girls) and king hrothgar, who he witnessed marrying and consummating with a 14 year old girl when hrothgar was well into his 40s / 50s. there are people he doesn’t like – i.e. bigby – but that doesn’t mean he can’t empathize with them, or that he wants them dead. to get grendel to hate you, you have to do some really, really fucked up shit – and you have to do it to somebody who isn’t him, because he frankly doesn’t care enough about himself to hate you if he’s the only one that’s been wronged.
“ don’t touch me. ”the ‘ please ’ is unspoken – rudeness is present, but wholly unintentional. venom in his voice. a p– -articular bite. “ i don’t fucking care who or what you are. ”
gren loves kids but he won’t fucking admit it because he thinks it makes him soft !!
and the best part about this is that it’s canon – in the novel, he had a particular weakness for anything that was decidedly softer, weaker, cuter, and more innocent than him. he’s always both envied and admired that very specific, fleeting beauty of youth, because a loving, nurturing childhood is something he … never really had.
there was a time in his life – when he was little more than an adolescent, himself – where his jealousy would get the better of him; he ate a couple kids, back in his ‘prime,’ and he regrets those few casualties more than he’ll ever regret hurting or killing any grown person. ever. he knows, now that he’s gotten in touch with his own basic humanity, that lashing out and stealing the opportunity to grow + live a fulfilling life from someone else just because he never got that chance is … selfish. and unfair. he’ll never not be plagued by fucking guilt over the mistakes he made when he still lived by bestiallaws.
so these days, gren treats children with a patience, respect, and adoration that most people don’t expect from a guy like him. you’d think he’d be an asshole to kids, because they’re loud and difficult and overstimulating … but no. he’s very sweet to them. very protective over them. he’d never even think about falling back into his old cruel, selfish habits; grendel’s learned to appreciate youth & to be happy for those who get to enjoy it. he treats children the way he wishes his younger self had been treated. the last thing he wants to do is create another monster out of a shitty, unforgiving childhood.
he likes to entertain kids with songs and stories, too; but don’t tell anybody. he can’t have ‘ paternal instinct ’ going on his permanent record.
“ .. well, you know you always got a place wit’ us. ”
the past couple of years have been rough on all of them. it seems like, every time they see each other, somebody’s lost something else – a limb; a loved one; a prior ambition; a little bit more of their minds. following lily’s death, nothing’s been the same. nothing’s been … kind, to them.
nothing, that is, except for one another.
“ door’s open. seriously. you need me t’ ring anybo- –dy up, you tell me. you need me to come get you out of some shit?you tell me. but don’t sit there ‘n fuckin’ deal wit’ it all by yourself. .. you’ve had a hard enough time staying in one piece.”
don’t follow me if you ship Grendel in heterosexual pairings. I have explicit, canon proof of his homosexuality as expressed in Beowulf and Grendel (John Gardner). I will not argue with you on this; this is not up for debate. just don’t follow me if you’re gonna erase his sexuality.
don’t send in chainmail, even if it’s positive. please.
DUPLICATES
i don't have anything against duplicates personally, but i need to make my boundaries clear: I DO NOT WANT DUPLICATES FOLLOWING ME IF THEY ARE GOING TO ERASE GRENDEL'S CANONICAL SEXUALITY / RACE / MENTAL AND PHYSICAL ILLNESSES OR DISABILITIES. grendel is gay, and nonwhite, and quite clearly not physically able or psychologically sound. if you are going to play him as ANYTHING BUT, i don't want you following me. i want you to block me on the spot. i won't stand for erasure; never have, never will. research the characters you claim to love, understand them fully, embrace their statuses as minorities, and THEN get back to me. as long as you don't erase vital aspects of his identity, then sure, we can be friends!
TRIGGERS
you can ask me to tag anything, but if it’s too obscure, I may forget.
personally, i blacklist ‘rape’ / 'incest’ / 'pedophilia’, 'IRL gore’, and 'grolly’ (it’s disgusting. i don’t want to fucking see it. ever. thanks.)
SHIPPING
When it comes to ships, Gren’s exclusive with Murdoc. ( Grendel’s not an incredibly sex- or love-oriented guy, anyway, so - don’t be too upset about it. ) I’m not wavering on this rule. Grendoc is my only serious, set-in-stone romance on this blog, and I don’t intend on changing that. Please respect this. Don’t attempt to push me or coerce me into shipping with you. If you try to take it there, IC or OOC, I’m not gonna be fucking happy about that.
I will tag all sexually explicit content as ‘nsfw,’ but I won’t put it under a read-more break.
FORMATTING
I use slightly edited 80 x 80 icons. I can’t see that tiny greyscale shit. sorry.
I cut my posts. it’s alright if you can’t do it; i’ll gladly do it for you.
I really don’t care about whether or not you have a 'fancy’ theme / formatting / etc. at all. this whole visual elitism thing pisses me off.
MUN
I’m a male (he/him); my name is Ruben. I’m gay / mixed, autistic, trans, and intersex.
I’m a little bit reserved and awkward and I’m not very good at interacting ooc with certain people.if you consistently make me feel like you’re gonna message me and demand my attention every time you see me get online, i’m blocking you. that shit freaks me out, makes me feel trapped, etc.
I am equally uncomfortable with being messaged about peoples’ problems, whether they’re online drama or IRL issues. if you need to talk to somebody, then please at least drop me a warning or ask if I’m able to handle it. it’s not that I don’t care about you, it’s that I am NOT usually in a mental state to be able to process your issues and offer advice or comfort for them. I encourage you STRONGLY to find somebody who IS able to talk to you, but my life is hellish. I am not your guy. I’m gonna get exhausted, I’ll probably ignore you, and all it’s gonna do is make both of us feel worse. I am not your therapist. please don’t treat me like one.
because of ASD, I have some serious [mis]communication issues & have a really hard time saying no to people (i don’t like it when people ask to roleplay; I will feel pressured into agreeing to something I do not really want. if you wanna write with me, i'd appreciate if you'd just drop me an ask, meme, plot idea, starter, etc.; but don't put me on the spot one-on-one).
if I am consistently ignoring you and/or block you out of nowhere, it’s probably on me, not on you.
I’m 18+
my personal is dadical
full name : Grendel. (the ‘-del’ is optional.) other names : The Destroyer, Shadow-Strider, He Who Walks at the Edges of the Earth, Heorot’s Beast, Lord’s Bane, Son of Cain, and – most famously – Asshole. title : drifter. age : appears mid/late 30′s; actually 1640+ years old, as of modern day. gender : agender, commonly perceived / presenting as male. sexuality : gay. origin : some swamp in Ye Olde Denmark. current location : Fabletown, NY (The Bronx). nationality : danish. ethnicity : african / west asian / caucasian. spoken languages : old, middle, and modern english / old norse / language of beasts. religion : knows gods exist; has met said gods; doesn’t really care. height : 5′5 (human, barefoot) / 8′2 (monster, not hunching). body type : ectomorph (human); ape-like, herculean muscle-gut (monster). eyes : green (left), white (right). tattoos : a cascade of holly leaves & lily flowers wrapping his neck and trailing down his chest/shoulders/spine (modern day). piercings : two rings on his left ear, a stud on his right, a bar in both brows, & a stud on his tongue. scars : the big one where his right arm should be / a dark gash across the right side of his face / various scars and burns littering the rest of his body. educational background : none. social media : probably had a vine account where he posted howtobasic rip-offs. smoking : occasionally. drinking : too much. drugs : he’s tried just about everything once. athletics : powerful upper body; tends to get under-handed jobs that require a lot of physical labor, but has no official workout schedule. hobbies : painting / doodling, making music, writing poetry, throwing darts. total ‘starving artist’ type. virgin : yeah. favorite drink : cherry brandy. favorite food : seafood’s a safe bet. favorite music : really angry rock/metal, grunge, bass-heavy boner jams, 80s jams, funk, soul, and hyper-pumped techno/synth. clothing style : casual, but put-together – in a sleazy sort of way.
GRENDEL.
ONCE THE RENOWNED TORMENTOR OF HEOROT, HE HAS SINCE TAKEN UP RESIDENCE IN MODERN-DAY NEW YORK CITY (A DUMPY LITTLE SHITHOLE; ‘FABLETOWN’, THE BRONX) AFTER THE LOSS OF HIS MOTHER AND THE DESTRUCTION OF HIS HOME. HE’LL TELL YOU A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT THE PARTS OF HIS LIFE THAT AREN’T HIS, ANYMORE; HOW THE POEM'S BULLSHIT. THAT IT WAS ACCIDENT.THAT BEOWULF NEVER WON.
( HE WON’T TELL YOU ABOUT HIS 800 YEARS IN ISOLATION, HIS HEARTBROKEN DRIFTING ALONG THE COAST. HE WON’T TELL YOU ABOUT THE LONESOME 36 NIGHTS HE SPENT HIDING BENEATH A SPICE RACK IN A CARGO SHIP CROSSING THE ATLANTIC, THEN - OR HOW DISAPPOINTED HE WAS TO BE GREETED WITH THE SAME TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS IN AMERICA AS HE WOULD’VE BEEN BACK IN HART. )
PRIOR TO MEETING HIS BOYFRIEND, GRENDEL’S ATTEMPTS TO PIECE HIMSELF BACK TOGETHER ARE SPARSE. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, HE CRASHES AND BURNS, ENDING UP JUST AS HOPELESS AND JADED AS HE’D BEEN BEFORE. PTSD, NEGLECT, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, AND SOCIO-POLITICAL OPPRESSION HAUNT HIM JUST AS PERSISTENTLY AS HIS OWN TROUBLED PAST. GRENDEL WALKS WITH THE WEIGHT OF REGRET ON HIS SHOULDERS, AND REGRET IS A HEAVY BURDEN FOR A ONE-ARMED BEAST TO BEAR.
STILL, SOMEHOW - BY SOME IMMENSE FORCE OF WILL; SOME GREAT STUPIDITY; SOME RESOLUTE, STUBBORN REFUSAL TO QUIT - GRENDEL TRIES TO FIND MEANING AND BEAUTY IN LIFE. HIS FIERCE LOYALTY TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY PROVIDE HIM WITH A PROVISIONAL, BUT NECESSARY, SENSE OF PURPOSE. HE DEFINES HIMSELF BASED ON HIS WORTH TO OTHERS. IT IS ALL HE’S EVER KNOWN TO DO.
YOU SEE - GRENDEL HAS A REPUTATION BASED ON LIES, AND THAT REPUTATION PRECEDES HIM.
DEMONIZED AND MISUNDERSTOOD, HIS DAYS OF TORMENTING MEADHALLS ARE OVER - NOW A FREQUENT ATTENDEE OF THE LOCAL WATERING HOLE, GRENDEL FINDS HIMSELF UNEMPLOYED, DISABLED, & COMPLETELY ALCOHOL-DEPENDENT.
EVEN WITH A ‘GLAMOUR’ - AN INVENTION OF MAGICK CREATED TO MASK THE APPEARANCE OF INHUMAN CREATURES - GRENDEL IS SCARRED AND WICKED, SMALL AND EMACIATED, BROODING AND BEATEN. SOMETHING ABOUT HIM IS … OFF.
CONSTANT INTOXICATION IS THE ONLY THING THAT DULLS THE ROAR OF THE CITY, KEEPING HIM DOCILE.