grendel’s first pride event was actually something holly     ( she’s a trans lesbian of color, thanks )     dragged him along to.  he was reluctant;  it was right after TWAU, ‘87 or ‘88, and in the ebbing wake of the AIDS crisis grendel was only halfway out of the closet and not entirely comfortable being Openly Gay or gnc.  add that to the fact that he’s disabled and a man of color having recently suffered an extreme instance of police brutality and he’s, you know, got a fucking ton of reasons not to want to show his face where members of the community + the cops may be watching.

he spent most of it hiding amongst a crowd of queens and butch lesbians, preferring to stick around the women and fem aligned people attending the parade, not keen on showing his face in a group that would identify him as a gay man.  holly was among the aforementioned crowd and they were mostly understanding of his hesitance towards the whole thing.

it wasn’t the first time he’d been in a queer space, but he usually preferred to sneak around  ‘underground’  societies and places marketed-but-not-marketed towards queer people     ( surprise, the trip trap is very much one of them  –  a gay-bar-that-isn’t-Technically-a-gay-bar-but-all-the-gays-know-what-the-fuck-it-is. ).     he wanted a safe space wherein he could wear makeup and dance with men and explore and express himself freely, without ridicule;  he was apprehensive about pride because it felt like a forcible Outing of himself.

he’s gotten a lot bolder since then.  a lot more  …  y’know  …  proud.  grendel now attends not only pride parades, but riots and protests, as well  –  not just in favor of the LGBT community, but in support of NYC’s vast population of immigrants, impoverished folk, and poc.